Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Faith Healing , does it work ? part 6

The first surgery was chronicled in this blog of mine, The Journey to the surgery Room.Before the surgery was made, I revisited the cyber healing of Fr. Suarez in youtube before I went to the hospital. I was taken aback by this:

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How can I forgive a person who's responsible for my misery? How can I forgive a person who must have known that I already got the C but he did not bother to advise me and help me see a specialist? He must have thought of the financial burden of medication and treatment. How can I forgive a person who did not bother to call and ask how I am when he learned about my illness?

It was not an easy task to forgive especially if a person does not even care.


So if the condition to be healed is to forgive, I am sorry but I thought I had a lot of reasons why I can't.

The second surgery was made by the oncologist which is narrated in this blog, Two Angels and One Devil.

The verdicts of the specialists were to be handed down last week of October. Between the periods of surgeries and the follow-ups, I started dreaming about my mother. She was cleaning a house. So in the dream, I asked her if that's for me.


In my blog Is there a miracle , I wrote about her message that I can choose to live longer. She made me understand how she also forgave us, her children many times. She asked me why I am not wondering that despite the person's refusal to help, I could get the best medical attention that I need? She pointed to me that the individual must have closed his house for me in anticipation of the burden of caring for one who's sick but I managed with my brother's help.

So it is my choice. Anger and unforgiveness contribute to one's illness.

That night, I cried and said I forgive.

The following day, my oncologist told me that the tumors and the lesions in my liver are no longer there as revealed by the liver biopsy and the series of blood tests that she ordered before the surgery. But I would be on the watch. Follow up would be within three to six months.

November 1, the gastroenterologist told me that the polyps she removed were hereditary risks. I asked why the CATscan showed a bigger mass and sometimes there are blood in my stool? She also expected worse than what she found. It was just like finding a mouse in a scary silhouette of an elephant. The blood tests now are found to be normal.

Yesterday, I e-mailed Dr. Emer. He's in Europe. He's happy that he could help. Rome was also ecstatic. My friend in Concord is also glad. My friend in New Jersey was upset. He said that he was already collecting for my vigil. (hahahaha)

To my other friends who sent their concerns and prayers, yes, prayer healing works if there is faith and forgiveness.

And I am now praying extra for those who need the prayers too.


cathcath's healing



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Monday, November 5, 2007

Faith Healing , does it work ? part 5

Con'tn.

So I called Rome. He's the most prayerful member of the blogkadahan aside from Dr. Emer. Honestly, I have not been in contact with them since I isolated myself from any group of any kind.

My first reaction when I received this card was, "does he think that he should send a Christmas card months before December because of my condition?"

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But when I opened the card, there is the small novena of the Mother of Perpetual Help. When I opened the first page, this is what I read:

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Nobody knew about the good "news" yet. Besides my primary doctor still has to get second opinions from other specialists. And am not sure either. Men of little faith. They receive miracles and yet they hardly can believe. That's who I am. Shame on me.

But he believed when I told him the good news. The circumstance of finding the novena and the ease by which he was able to send it on the day, (it took only a day from LA to reach my place when the regular mail takes about three days, the most) I receive the good news affirmed his faith. I told him that I would not write about it until all the examinations from the second group of specialists are done.

He said that he was overseeing the renovation of his kitchen when he saw something on a dusty pile of wood or something. It was the novena. He didn't know where it came from. It had no dust in it as of someone hast just put it there for him to see. His novena got lost and besides, what he saw was new. No mark that it has been used. So he sent it to me late Saturday afternoon. The mail came Tuesday morning. I got it in the afternoon when I arrived from the doctor's office. It was late by few hours for the deadline that I made.

Little did he know that when I touched the novena, I cried. It was a feeling that I could not explain. But a voice said, For years, you have come to me for your problems, why did you forget?

Then came several more signs. My friend in Concord, CA. sent his copy (the blue one on the right) of the novena which he never removed from his wallet ever since he left the Philippines. No he didn't know why I need the novena.

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Then Resty sent me a link of Father Suarez' healing in youtube. And this was what I viewed.
See his vest.

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Sunday, November 4, 2007

Faith Healing, does it work? part 4

Cont'n...

So even with the "gift" of mine, I could not tell what future awaits for me. I remember the homily of one priest about special people--those with gifts in whatever form, he said that without the power of God, there will be no such powers.

So I have to ask for a sign that will come from Him and not from my hunch, not from the crystall ball and definitely not from the solitaire.

I asked for the most impossible thing that I could get hold of before the second verdict. When I was young, I used to pray the novena in Baclaran. My father's patron saint.

So I asked for a copy of the novena. I called my friend whose wife was in the Philippines to buy one for me. Unfortunately, his wife advanced her flight and had just arrived.

A close friend in Los Angeles whom I have not heard for a long time called and promised to get one, only to call again that he could not find any not even his own.

A friend in San Francisco sent his only copy. Unfortunately, it did not reach me. The Post Office returned it back to him for a stupid reason.

I pondered that the sign that I asked was not coming. I had to accept my fate. So much with the prayer healing, I told myself.

That day, my brother gave me company to get the results.

As I have written before, that was the longest wait, I ever experienced. The doctor came.
He asked me how I am? What would I answer? Good? Feeling good that I am dying?

I am not prone to crying. It's not me. But he could see that I was sad. He put his arms around me and said, the results showed that the "activities " shown in the previous tests are no longer there?

I asked , what do you mean, no longer there?

The cancers are no longer there.

Well, if in the previous tests, there were "10" the second set of tests showed that there were only "five." He was trying to explain what he cannot because he himself is puzzled.

"Could there be a mistake in the first sets of tests? " I asked.

"For one consulting physician, it may be possible, but the medical specialists who interpreted the reports come from different departments of the hospital. "

He asked me the question, "Aren't you happy that it was good news?"

"Yes, I am but I want to be sure." In my mind, but I did not get the sign I asked for.

"That's the reason why I am referring you to private medical practitioners on oncology, pathology, gastroenterology for "invasive medical procedures" to verify the second set of virtual examinations. It may hurt since there will be surgeries but it is the only way to check." He said.

Before coming home, I bought a small bouquet of flowers. I remember when I used to offer flowers in my altar.

Upon coming home, I looked at the mail. It came from one of the blogkadahan friends of mine, Rome. I opened it. It was a Christmas card. What crossed my mind was he must have thought that he should send a card before Christmas. Then I looked inside. There was the novena of the Perpetual Help.

I read what he wrote inside."Tell me the good news". He did not even know that the novena was the sign I was asking for.

The envelop did not have any postal mark where it came from, when was it sent. Did it fly thru the air?

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Here is one mail that came later also from this place.

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So I called him. He said that it just appeared in front of him.


To be continued...

cathcath's healing


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Saturday, November 3, 2007

Faith Healing, does it work? part 3

Cont'n.

After I wrote about my "battle", pledges of prayers started pouring in.
I started writing my memoirs. Surprisingly, I wrote several entries during my sick moments. May be I was in a hurry to finish it before I entirely lose my lucidity.

Reluctantly, I again submitted myself to the non-invasive medical procedures as ordered by my primary healthcaregiver.

Friends called. There were mixed reactions. Some people who know me well are convinced that I will win the fight. I liked to hear those assurances but with the diagnoses and all I just told them that I leave it to God.

A close friend of mine asked me what my friendly spirits were "telling" me. At that point, there was no "message" except that they too were praying. Ahhh so I thought, it's really that hopeless since even my mom would not give me any sign. My deceased friend whom I had a pact before he died of cancer that we will still be in touch, briefly appeared as I was going to the bathroom, one night. It was just an assurance. KAYA mo yan BOk, ikaw pa.

My dreams were all about seeing and talking with my dead relatives and friends. I thought it was a welcoming committee.

While waiting for the "final verdict" I prayed the rosary every day as I am aware that I am prayed over. There were mornings when I can feel the jolt, the energy that seeped into my body. My sister explained that they were signs that the pray overs are working. But what about if it was just the power of my brain working? My desire to live? But I doubted that also because with the pain, I wish I were dead. I just wanted it to be quick.

I had difficulty walking even inside the house. I could not stand longer than five minutes in the kitchen cooking without leaning to the counters. In getting up from bed, I have to roll over to the side, slide down the carpet, walk on fours until I could pull myself up. Where was the pain coming from? All over.

Yeah, I believe in supernatural but it doesn't mean I easily believe without doubting. When Dr. Emer said that he personally e-mailed Father Suarez for long distance healing, I said okay but in my mind, would it WORK ? That night, I sensed his presence in my room.

To be continued...


cathcath's healing


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Friday, November 2, 2007

Faith Healing, does it work? part 2

My prescriptions for my diabetes and hypertension run out. I had to look for a new healthcare provider in my new place. I found one. But he would not give me prescriptions not unless I go to the whole process of examination, the blood test etc including repeat mammography. He also recommended for ultrasound, x-rays, etc.

Then more blood tests.

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I did not know that there are more than a hundred types of blood tests depending on what chemicals they're looking for to detect abnormality especially cancer. Years ago, I was puzzled when the husband of my friend was given only three months to live after detecting leukemia when all the while he was undergoing treatment for another illness. I just thought that blood tests for a specific illness would reveal other abnormalities. I was wrong.

There was a lump in my underarm. The pain in my abdomen was becoming more intense that I stooped when I walked. I got pain in my hip that radiates to my knee and leg. The pain in my left ear emanating from the brain was unbearable. I was coughing profusely.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Faith Healing, does it work? part 1

I used to be a religious person. Note the word used. But with all the crises that I went through for the past years, I was just like Jim Curry who berated Morgan Freeman in the movie Bruce Almighty. So when Resty broached to me the idea of prayer healing, I politely said yes. Dr. Emer e-mailed me that if all fails, let him know because he knows somebody who may be able to help me. I did not know that they were referring to the same person, Father Suarez. Lorena also referred me to Father Faller and my sister has her own prayer group.

I believe in miracles but it's just that I did not believe that I will have another chance especially if the diagnosis,is not just cancer but it is cancer in different organs. In short, it has metastasized. And all the doctor was looking for was the primary.

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